After the day's session at the annual meeting of SPUAH (Society for People of Under Average Height), many of the members, including Gimli, the Seven Dwarfs, and a few of Santa's elves, retired to a local bar for a few drinks.

Things were going well until it was time to pay the tab. Grumpy and Bashful collected money from the others, paid the bartender, then the group started to leave. The bartender discovered that they hadn't paid enough and yelled out, "Hey! You guys are short!", which, unfortunately, was misinterpreted. Thankfully, in the ensuing melee, little damage was done.

Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. I heard a joke about UDP

But you might not get it

2. The sum is greater than the parts

Unless you're at a chop shop.

3. Where can you buy violins and groceries?

VivALDI’s

4. My wife has two problems with me:

The fact that I don't finish my sentences and

5. What do you call a Viking who doesn't like company?

Leif Malone

6. I'm trying to remember what the French word for white is...

But my mind keeps going blanc

7. How many giraffes does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but you’d better have a high ceiling.

8. I was flirting with a woman at the bus stop and asked her to tell me a little about herself. She said, “well…I’m a dog walker.”

I ended the conversation right there because she’s obviously delusional… and how the *hell* did she know my name was Walker??

9. The makers of Visine™ have a Web Page…

…It’s a site for sore eyes.

10. The makers of Visine™ have a Web Page…

…It’s a site for sore eyes.

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After the day's session at the annual meeting of SPUAH (Society for People of Under Average Height), many of the members, including Gimli, the Seven Dwarfs, and a few of Santa's elves, retired to a local bar for a few drinks.

funny dad jokes