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avatar StAkito 15 hr.ago

Lord Stabbit was a snobbish noble who funded expeditions to hunt vampires

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do you call a woman with 1 leg?

Eileen I'm sure this has been said before but I just thought of it

2. What do you call a restaurant owned and operated by little people ?

Short Staffed

3. My job.

I work at the docks making sure male and female boats aren't put next to each other. I'm in charge of berth control.

4. What's a sea lion's favorite subject in school,?

Art art art!

5. A bird was boasting to a tree

A bird was boasting to a tree "I can fly anywhere, I can go to the coast and back and see lots of things" The tree replied, I can't fly, but avocado.

6. Mitch was far from the brightest student in my Topology course, but he was pleasant and at least he came to class regularly, occupying a seat in the back left of the auditorium.

One day, to my surprise, when I entered the classroom I saw that Mitch was sitting in the front row and had a pile of dollar bills with him. Intrigued, I asked him about the money and being up front and he said. “Well, in the last class you told us that today we were going to see the Möbius strip so I came prepared.”

7. My wife chided me for not having seen all the graffiti someone had sprayed all over our house

I should have seen the writing on the wall

8. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?

Because the dog can't open the parachute.

9. A horse walks into a bookstore.

The store keeper asks, "why the long face?" The Horse replies, "I thought this was a bar"

10. If cocaine was legal and you could get it from vending machines...

It should be called Insta-grams.

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