Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
International-Box956 2 day.agoAn engineer dies and goes to hell. The devil tells him that due to his sins, he will be cast into the deepest hell for eternity. The problems begin immediately upon his arrival. He constantly finds problems with the construction of Hell's many pits and works his way up to the accounting department by torturing as many souls as possible (mainly because the levels of hell they inhabited were not up to code) then immediately begins to assess the pits and structures in hell, finds that they are not at the code and fines the devil for every violation. Considering there are seven levels with billions upon billions of structures including the city of dis, the devil quickly begins to lose money and the bank is poised to foreclose on hell and throw him out. The devil slowly begins to realize that he's not the one in control and the one he sent to hell is actually making his life a living hell so he secretly meets with God and tells him that he will hand the man over because he's bleeding cash. they agree to do it the next day and to the devil's surprise, the man can hardly wait to be free of hell because there are so many code violations that he's run out of souls to murder, having cleared all seven levels of both demons and prisoners. He gladly enters heaven only for God to come to Satan the next day begging to take him back. Satan says " I fail to see what the problem is, after all he has a reputation for perfection" God looks at him with anger in his eyes and tells him: "that's precisely the problem, he convinced me, ME! That I wasn't perfect and worse, used the Bible to get his point across. He's the new God and now nobody can get into heaven because apparently they're not up to code and the code has to be perfect. I need a f****** drink" "I'm afraid that's not going to work, his twin is working as a bartender and perfection is a requirement to drink there" God: *grabs a minigun* "Nothing's going to keep me from my f****** vodka"
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Try sitting down.
But alas
But alas
I think I might go pro... some day...
I would dye happy
On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple had an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of the groom's left foot. Unable to control her grief, the bride calls her mother from the hospital. "Mom," she sobs, "my husband has only one foot." The mother, trying to console her daughter, says, "That's alright dear, your father only has six inches."
Infi-knight
…one day they have the following conversation: Bob says, “I was just wondering if there is baseball in Heaven.” John replies, “I sure hope they do because it would be hell not being able to play it for all eternity!” “I know right! Tell you what, if one of us dies before the other, then we need to somehow let the other one know if there is.” “Sounds like a plan!” Bob dies a few years later in a car crash & a couple of days after that John has a dream where Bob visits him and tells him, “I have good news & bad news. The good news is that they DO play baseball in Heaven and, man, they have some of the best games! All the legends play, Ruth, Robinson, Gehrig, everybody in the Hall of Fame plays but your skill level doesn’t matter because who cares if we win or lose, we’re just playing a game that we love!” John says, “That sounds awesome! But what’s the bad news?” “You’re scheduled to pitch next week.”
It was a grin aid!
Turns out the printer was just jamming.
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