Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
International-Box956 3 day.agoAn engineer dies and goes to hell. The devil tells him that due to his sins, he will be cast into the deepest hell for eternity. The problems begin immediately upon his arrival. He constantly finds problems with the construction of Hell's many pits and works his way up to the accounting department by torturing as many souls as possible (mainly because the levels of hell they inhabited were not up to code) then immediately begins to assess the pits and structures in hell, finds that they are not at the code and fines the devil for every violation. Considering there are seven levels with billions upon billions of structures including the city of dis, the devil quickly begins to lose money and the bank is poised to foreclose on hell and throw him out. The devil slowly begins to realize that he's not the one in control and the one he sent to hell is actually making his life a living hell so he secretly meets with God and tells him that he will hand the man over because he's bleeding cash. they agree to do it the next day and to the devil's surprise, the man can hardly wait to be free of hell because there are so many code violations that he's run out of souls to murder, having cleared all seven levels of both demons and prisoners. He gladly enters heaven only for God to come to Satan the next day begging to take him back. Satan says " I fail to see what the problem is, after all he has a reputation for perfection" God looks at him with anger in his eyes and tells him: "that's precisely the problem, he convinced me, ME! That I wasn't perfect and worse, used the Bible to get his point across. He's the new God and now nobody can get into heaven because apparently they're not up to code and the code has to be perfect. I need a f****** drink" "I'm afraid that's not going to work, his twin is working as a bartender and perfection is a requirement to drink there" God: *grabs a minigun* "Nothing's going to keep me from my f****** vodka"
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
You were warned about your car’s warranty expiring.
As they were walking home through the dark they cut through a grave yard for a quick pee. The first lady peed and decided to wipe her self with her own cheap knickers that she was wearing and then threw the cheap knickers away. The second lady then peed behind a grave stone but she was wearing her very expensive kinky knickers and wanted to keep them. So she felt around the grave stone to see if she can find anything to wipe herself with... She came across a silky red ribbon and decided to wipe herself with it. Both ladies were feeling refreshed and made their way home... The next day, their two husbands called each other up. The first husband said: "these girly night out need to stop! My wife came home with no knickers" The second husband replied: "that's nothing! My wife came home with writing on her upper thighs that said: THANK YOU FROM THE WHOLE FIRE BRIGADE"
They put them both in a room with a woman and say they can have her, but they have to approach her only half a distance that lies between them, each time. The mathematician gives up, stating he cannot reach the woman. The engineer will continue because he knows he will get close enough for all practical purposes.
An Amish drive by.
An olfactory.
Hindsight is 2020
Because they are traveling light.
"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him” The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his friends. He comes back three days later with a broken arm and covered in bruises. The grandfather asks "What the hell happened to you?" The grandson says "I did just like you did. I went to the Moulin Rouge with my friends; I tried to fuck a dancer on stage and piss on the bartender - but they beat the shit out of me and stole all the cash in my wallet!" The grandfather asks "Well who the hell did you go with boy?" The grandson says "My friends from school, who did you go with?" The grandfather says "Well... the 2nd SS Panzer Division"
Trombones
with block and tackle
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆