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avatar explosivelydehiscent 1 day.ago

My wife kept dumping flour into her lobster soup recipe and cried about the lumps and thick consistency

I said No whisk it, no bisque yet, baby.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Show me your best "Tom Swifties"

I remember laughing at these for like an hour a couple years ago! I also saw a post like this from 2 years ago, on this subreddit, so credit to that guy for this idea. My favourites: "Hey! Use your own hairbrush!", Tom bristled. "Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!", Tom repeated. "Woah! Is that Spider-Man?", Tom marvelled.

2. I got a big discount on an expensive painting I bought because it was badly scratched by a cat.

It was a Clawed Monet.

3. The chefs in my local restaurant have been arguing about the correct temperature to heat the soup.

Tensions have finally reached a boiling point.

4. The chefs in my local restaurant have been arguing about the correct temperature to heat the soup.

Tensions have finally reached a boiling point.

5. I once dated a phobo-phile.

It was a love-hate relationship.

6. I was in a public restroom depositing a number 2 and realized there was no toilet paper.

Then I remembered that in a pinch, you can use a $1.00. But THAT was a disaster. >!I guess because I only had 95 cents. !<

7. What do you call the mirror aisle at Walmart?

Self-Checkout

8. As a monk, Mendel had to keep his children a secret…

They were human beans, after all!

9. My new watch has a battery that'll last 10 years.

Pretty sure it's got more time left than I do.

10. Leftovers

The waiter asked if I wanted the box for my leftovers, I told him I don’t like to fight.

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