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avatar SafetyDanceInMyPants 6 day.ago

“Hey, bro, you gonna leave before the next yoga class?”

“Namaste.”

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I had a great conversation with a dolphin the other day...

...we just clicked.

2. My can opener is broken.

Now it's a can't opener.

3. What does one Chinese cat say to greet the other Chinese cat?

Me hao!

4. I've been trying to save money on electricity so I got an e-meter.

But it just made me give our family's life savings to Scientology.

5. I just got in a argument with my wife

I don't know what to do next she told me I was right.

6. Did you hear about the beatnik who died of malnutrition?

He wouldn't eat a square meal

7. Guy gets out of prison, goes right to the nearest whorehouse, and meets the crusty old Madam

She asked what he wants. He says “I haven’t had a woman in 10 years. I don’t want young, I don’t want pretty. I want a tough woman who can put up with a major ass pounding” The madam says, “Well cowboy, that’s me. Go down the street and get us a 6 pack of longnecks, and meet me in room 7” The guy buys the beer and goes to room 7. The madam is on the bed, totally naked, on her hands and knees, with her asshole facing the door. The guy says, “I thought you wanted to have a few beers first.” She responds, “Well mister, you gotta open them bottles somehow”.

8. Forestry workers in Scotland have been able to access previously difficult access thanks to bridges borrowed from the Swedish Army. These can be put up and taken down in a few hours...

provided you don't misplace the Allen Key.

9. Scientists in the UK were excited to receive a sample of The Moon from a Chinese Mission this week. The rocks are rarer than diamonds...

but a lot less impressive to use when proposing.

10. I had second thoughts about a real estate purchase.

But it’s too late. The deed is done.

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