What is the paradox of sparkling water?

It's going to be called STYX and Stones.

This guy walks into a bathroom and there's another guy just standing at the urinal. He looks up when the guy enters and with a sigh of relief says " i know this is strange but can you please help me? I promise I'm not being weird. " The second guy is like" wtf? What do you want? The first guy says " I really promise I'm not at all trying to be weird. Can you pull it out for me?" The second guy says "again wtf, are you sure? The first guy says" yes I promise you I'm not being weird " The second guy thinks for a moment and then says " as long as your not being weird " and reaching in pulls out the man's penis which turns out to be all purulent and green . He jumps back and says "what the crazy shit is that?" The first guy says" I don't know, but I'm not touching it."

Lashley says “You see that fence on the hill over there?” The guy says “yeah”. “Well, I built that fence by hand, one picket next to the next in perfect symmetry”. But you think anyone calls me ‘Lashley the fence maker? No.” The guy shrugs his shoulders. “And you are looking at my fence through a window. I made that window by hand. I built it and installed each pane of glass with putty. But you think anyone calls me ‘Lashley, the window maker? No.” The guy again shrugs his shoulders “And look at the bar we’re now sitting at. I made this bar by hand, and I put a coat of perfect varnish on it so that we can see our faces reflected on it. But you think anyone calls me ‘Lashley, the carpenter? No.” The guy again shrugs his shoulders. Lashley exclaims in sorrow “But you fuck one goat!“

Because it's clear as eyes.

an erection in my sleep pants. But don't worry....I beat it single handed.

They both make a noise if you hit them with a stick

Beat it

. I'm tempted but I'm worried it might make me a bit two cocky.....

Short jokes are beneath me.

I must have stumped him because he just kept staring at me.