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avatar TheAlphaKiller17 2 day.ago

The road was pretty sticky today.

There was a traffic jam.

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2
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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. 4 jesuit priests are walking in a forest, discussing religious issues, as they like to do.

Usually it is all cheerful banter. Today however, 3 priests have a different opinion on a thorny theological issue than the 4th one who is convinced he is right. He shakes his head and says, “Dear God, please give a sign that I am right.” A pile of leaves next to the path suddenly lifts up, hovers for a few seconds, and gently floats down. “See! God gave me a sign!” The other jesuits shake their heads, one says, “come on it is just the wind.” The 4th priest now begs, “please God, give another sign that I was right”. Suddenly, from the sunny blue sky, a ball lighting drops down and incinerates 3 nearby trees in a flash. “See! God even shows that you 3 are wrong!” One of the 3 jesuits now says, “Just a peculiar atmospheric disturbance caused by static electricity on this dry hot day.” Exasperated, the 4th priest cries out “Dear God, can you please help me a last time to convince them?!” A sonorous baritone voice booms from the sky, “HE IS RIGHT !!!” The 3 priests look at each other and one mutters, “Well, it is still 3 against 2.”

2. Yo moms is so fat she told her doctor to tell everyone she's 6'3", 224

IYKYK

3. When you wear a belt made of $100 bills.

It's just a waist of money.

4. Mommy mommy

Mommy mommy I don’t want to go to Europe this summer Shut up and keep rowing Mommy mommy I don’t want to walk around in circles anymore Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor These are jokes my Dad told me. He is 76. Any body else know any of these jokes?

5. How did the jungle monk unlock his treehouse temple?

Used his monk-key.

6. When you think about it, Lance Armstrong

Was a drug pedaller

7. This kid was born without eyelids…

The doctor said, “I also do circumcision. I think I can use the foreskin to make eyelids!” The surgery is a success. They bring the baby in and the dad holds him up to take a look. He says, “It looks good, just a little cockeyed”

8. A man was talking with his friend, a mathmetician, who he hadn’t seen in a while. The man asked his friend, “why is your skin so much darker than the last time I saw you?” The mathematician responded,

sqrt(-1) sin/cos

9. Son asked if Mt. Rushmore is the biggest mountain in the world…

I said, no, but it thinks that because ‘of all the mountains in the world: it has the biggest heads.’

10. Problems with mice in your home? Spray the area with WD40 oil.

It won't get rid of them, but it'll stop them squealing.

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