Today my son asked if I was feeling "Call of Duty".

Because they use honeycombs.

After weeks of this, the kiosk owner finally asks: "Why do you only look at the front page and never read the rest?" The man replies: "I'm looking for an obituary." Confused, the owner says: "But obituaries are in the back pages, in small print." The man calmly responds: "The one I’m waiting for will be on the front page."

In this economy?

But if you have company then you should wear a condominium

He let out a little whine.

Suddenly they see robbers coming towards them. The father is afraid that they will take the jewels and the camel, but the daughter says to him: Daughter: -Daddy, let me hide the jewels where only a woman can hide them. So she hid the jewels, and the robbers took the camel and left. The father is walking on with a sad face, and the daughter asks him: Daughter: -Daddy, why are you so sad? We saved the jewels, didn't we? Father: -Oh, my dear daughter, if your mother were here, we would have saved the camel too.

It's the bear minimum

Theatre. The audience is impatiently waiting for the premiere to begin. The lights go out. Silence. A minute later a man comes out on stage with a candle in his hand and a stool, puts the stool down, sets the candle on it, and starts masturbating. Two minutes later a voice from the last row breaks the silence: "Somebody please stop this!" The man grabs the candle, waves it: "Who's there?!"

The doctor said, "the best thing I can recommend first is diet and exercise." I replied, "Sure, but how am I supposed to convince my wife to diet and exercise?"

. Cross fit