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avatar HistorysHeart1916 3 day.ago

So a crow asked his mates to meet up on the weekend, but when he gets there they're in cuffs with a crowd of police behind him.

They charged them with attempted murder

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. Too bad I cannot visit Dublin.

Irish I could though...

2. I asked our waiter if they had anymore free bread, so he went back to ask the kitchen staff. Upon returning he said they ran out.

I told him they should run back in.

3. Dwarfes are nice.

They're just really down to earth people.

4. There was no clear winner in the neck decorating contest.

It was a tie.

5. What did Jesus say as he was dying on the cross?

"This is a helluva way to spend Easter."

6. I'm in a twelve step program for recovering hackers

It's called Anonymous Anonymous

7. What's the difference between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

8. Every time we pass by wind turbines on the road

I tell my kids "You know who's putting all these wind turbines, right? Mercedes". Gets both the groan and eye roll from the missus

9. On a quest to find the Tommy Wiseau's The Room of dad jokes. Gimme your absolute best

Lost my job at the bank. Girlfriend is gonna be pissed. I don't know how to tell her.

10. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

You marry her

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