A man's first son was just born and he was in the nursery looking at him, the cutest little 1 day old.

Another father came next to him and said beaming with pride: "You see that beauty over there? That's my daughter. She's 3 days old." The first father then said with the happiest heart this world has ever seen: "That cutey patootie is my 1 day old son!" There was silence for a moment and then dad #2 said: "Y'know, maybe one day our kids will marry, you never know!" And the first one answered: "Yeah sure...why not?" But deep down he was thinking: "Not in this world, nor the next, will I ever let my son marry someone thrice his age!"

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Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. Cemetery Swingers

I went to a cemetery-themed sex club last night. The host grinned and said, “At our place you never worry about premature endings—you’re already dying to come all night long.”

2. Why was the fisherman so good at geometry?

Because he was a great angler.

3. Why don't you take a watch to the forest?

Because there's too many ticks and not enough tocks.

4. My first day working at the pizza shop I tried to shove a large pizza into a medium box.

There wasn't mushroom.

5. What’s the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo bean?

I’ve never paid for a Garbanzo bean on my face.

6. Yo mama so fat her ass is out of render distance

7. The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when i was browsing……

So I asked him to leave me alone. He said, “Fine, suit yourself”……

8. Where do cucumbers go for dates?

The salad bar.

9. I just found out that “AAAAARRRRRRGHHHHH” isn’t a real word.

I can’t tell you how angry I am!

10. Yo mama so careful,

she wears a helmet while online shopping… just in case she "crashes" the website!

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A man's first son was just born and he was in the nursery looking at him, the cutest little 1 day old.

funny dad jokes