Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
poptheballoon4 16 day.agoA tired businessman walks into a bar and sees a dusty old lamp on a shelf behind the counter. He asks the bartender, “Hey, what’s with the lamp?” Bartender shrugs, “Rub it if you want. But I’m warning you — the genie’s... a bit weird.” The man, half-drunk and curious, grabs the lamp and gives it a rub. Poof! A genie appears. The genie says, “You get one wish. Make it count.” The man thinks long and hard, then says, “Alright, I want a billion bucks and to be irresistible to every woman I meet.” The genie nods, snaps his fingers — and poof — the man is transformed into… a giant credit card. The bartender bursts out laughing. The man screams, “What the hell?!” The bartender shrugs, “Told you he was weird. He’s literal — last guy wished for a long, hard night, and woke up as a Viagra pill in a retirement home.”
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Now all my withdrawals are in tens.
Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started.
preocCupid?
I brought 200 lb ,$133 of scrap and after he put it on the scale he said it looks like you have 100 pounds here 🙄
The priest is silent for a moment, and then says "Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp. "And I'll be forgiven?" asks the man. "No," replies the priest, "but it will wipe that fucking smirk off your face!"
Still to this day they both think, it's a terrible name...
First of all, of course, he wants to visit the holy places. He stops a taxi, sits inside, and realizes he forgot how to say "The Western Wall" in Hebrew. He thinks for a moment: "Driver.. take me to the place... where you Jews are all crying." The driver took him to the Tax Authority HQ.
She took him by the hand, looked him in the eye and passionately told him, "You did not come here to die!". He replied "Nah mate, I just got here yesterdie".
I told her to go date rocks
A Hiking.
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