Thought I'd better get out and mow the grass.

I figured it's only getting lawnger.

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?”

“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

2. God sat back on the 7th day and was approached by Gabriel who asked “Lord, should not Adam & Eve be to able to have offspring like all the other animals?

God said “You’re right. Give the dumb one a cunt.”

3. What’s the difference between circumcision and crucifixion?

With crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew.

4. Yo Mama so hairy you were born with carpet burns.

5. Princess Diana

I got a couple: What was the last thing to go through Diana's mind? The stereo. Why did princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. What do princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? The wall was their last big hit.

6. Spousal abuse

Abusing of your wife is just so stupid. It's YOUR wife. That's like keying your own car.

7. What’s the best way to kill 1000 flies?

Throw a frying pan in an Ethiopians face.

8. Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Joe Biden.

9. What did the black guy say to his cannibal parrot?

Polly want a Cracker

10. What do Minors and Multiplication have in common

If they are under 12 just do them in your head

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Thought I'd better get out and mow the grass.

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