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avatar Joel_Boyens 10 day.ago

A pig once sneezed on me.

I was covered in ham-booger.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I took my tailor to court for not altering my jacket and pants correctly

It wasn’t much of a suit

2. OC: Which types of jokes should not be cracked before a person who is suffering from a fracture?

Bone tickling. It occurred to me when I suffered one and shared first with my bro, we had a good chuckle.

3. What do you call a list of positives and negatives about teaching inmates to write novels?

The pros and cons of prose and cons.

4. What do police hotlines and glory holes have in common?

They both rely on anonymous tips. *just heard this today and had to share*

5. Standing at a bus stop

Two guys are standing at a bus stop when a big, muscular, mean looking dude steps up to one of them and says " H-h-hey, m- m- man. What t-t-time ya g-g-got?” The guy just stands there, staring at the imposing man without saying anything. The big guy finally growls "F-f-fuck you." He then turns to the other guy and asks the same question. "It's four forty-five.” the guy promptly answers, and the big guy nods and walks off. The guy then asks the silent man, "Why didn't you answer him?” He replies "B-b-because I s-s-stutter t-t-too."

6. My 5 year old boy asked me if I knew what a solar eclipse was

I said “No sun”

7. A guy walks into a bar....

He sees 3 slabs of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender, "Whats up with the meat? " Bartender says, If you can jump up and slap them your drinks are free if not you pay everyone's tab. The man thinks a minute then says, nah the steaks are too high.

8. An enthusiastic activist quickly walked up to me and yelled “FREE PALESTINE!!”

I thanked them as I thought to myself, “Damn, that’s a hell of a bargain.”

9. Why did the cat cross the road?

Because the chicken had a laser pointer.

10. What did the cat say when it answered the phone?

Can you hear meow?

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