Last week I was bored, so I decided to swap some labels in my wife’s spice rack.

And that's how I met your mother.

Since that was my first attempt, they were rather amateroles.

The cop says to the man: - Do you know that you were speeding, sir? - No officer, I didn't know I was speeding... The wife then says: - Come on, Henry, you knew you were speeding, I've been telling you to slow down for miles. The man shoots a dark look at his wife, then the cop says: - Well, since I've got you pulled over, do you know that the tag on your license plate is expired? - No sir, I did not know that... The wife says: - Oh please, Henry! I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now! The husband grinds his teeth but keeps silent. The cop then adds: - And I noticed that you left rear lights weren't working either. - Oh yes, I was on my way to get them changed, actually. The wife says: - Nonsense, we were going home. You keep saying it doesn't need to be changed, that the other drivers can see you well enough. The man explodes with anger: - WILL YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAMN PIEHOLE, YOU BITCH? The cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her: - Does he always talk to you this way? - Oh no, officer, only when he's been drinking.

Because she's the coolest mom ever.

Because he was in an accident prawn area.

Nah, it doesn’t

For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.

Man # 1 "Did you know that pigeons die after sex?" Man # 2 "No they don't, really?" Man #1 "The one I fucked last night did!"

Cop - do you know why I pulled you over? Man - to buy tickets to the policeman’s ball? Cop - policemen don’t have balls Silence… Cop walks away

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