Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
arseflare 11 day.agoHe also noticed money was falling out of one bag and blowing across the road. He picked it up and approached the elderly woman, seeing that the first bag was stuffed with cash .“Ma’am, that’s an awful lot of money to be carrying around in a bin bag, do you mind if I ask where you got it?”Well officer" she replied "I live beside the 8th hole of a golf course, and although I have a privacy fence in my garden, those bloody golfers are constantly pissing in garden. You see, there’s a knot hole in the fence and those inconsiderate louts put their dicks through the hole and pee! so every time I see a Willy sticking through, I grab my hedge clippers, clamp down on their Willy and tell them it’s gonna cost you £50 if you want to keep it.“Oh, I see,” said the officer.“That explains the money, but what’s in the other bag?”“Not everyone pays,” said the old lady.
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Our two heroes, Fast Freddy and Slow Sam, partners for years, digging further and further into the mountain on their golf claim. After many years of making a meager living finally hit the jackpot and find a huge deposit of gold and after loading up their mule, they are off to town to sell their gold and celebrate. After some discussion they decide they are going to have sex with all the ladies at the brothel one right after the other. First to go after flipping a coin is Sam. "Wham...Bam...Thank....You.... Ma'am" says Sam, and he moves onto to the next "Wham...Bam...Thank...You... Ma'am" next one "Wham...Bam... Than... You... Ma'am" Now Freddy is very excited and starts down the line after his partner 'wham Bam thank you ma'am, wham Bam thank you ma'am, wham Bam thank you ma'am, wham Bam sorry Sam, wham Bam thank you ma'am "
I think I nailed it but nobody saw it
A big misunderstanding ensued.
meaning she has to spend the next three weeks wearing a cone.
or as they called it, a punchline.
He would drown.
You call her
The young college students on their first date drove to a country festival. As they were returning the guy stopped the car, turned to his date, and after making some subtle advances, suggested that they get naked and spend some time together in the back seat. “OK,” said the girl, “but I have to let you know that I’m actually a prostitute, and this will cost you $150.” He hesitated but reluctantly agreed, gave her the money, and they made love. After they had finished and had put their clothes back on, the guy just sat motionless in the drivers’ seat. “Aren’t we leaving?” the girl asked. “Well,” said the guy, “Not quite yet. I’m actually a cab driver and the fare to and from the festival is $150.”
I mean, the people at that Lynyrd Skynyrd concert got really excited when I yelled out “free bird!”, but for some reason they weren’t interested in my parrot.
Me: "I met this gorgeous woman while on vacation in the Islands." Friend: "Nice, where is she from?" Me: "One of those islands down there. Can never remember the name. Starts with a J" Friend: "Jamaica?" Me: "Nah. She wouldn't put out"
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