God said onto Peter, “come forth and gain eternal life.”

But Peter came fifth, and got an air fryer

dadjoke

Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. In an interview, Jay Z said he had Myoclonus, involuntary muscle jerk, during his childhood. But he never bothered by it, never asked for any medical help, didn't cared at all.

He said "I got 99 problems, but a twitch ain't one"

2. What do you call a thespian rabbit?

Anthony HOPkins

3. "My wife got hurt after annoying the marsupials on our trip to a Malaysian zoo." "Kuala Lumpar?" "No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".

Thank you to Glenny Rodge on Bluesky

4. I seem to be agitated every time I go to the bathroom to poop...

I guess I am just flush-turd!

5. I was talking to my pastor on the phone about the new pope, and the call dropped…

I was excommunicationed.

6. In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.

Poison IV would just make you itchy.

7. Timothée Chalamet went to Starbucks. The barista asked his name for the coffee cup.

He replied "Call Me By Your Name"

8. Why will you never see anyone type demon's without an apostrophe?

Because they're always possessive!

9. Kids

There's nothing wrong with kids that reasoning with them won't aggravate.

10. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Virginia Sheep

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God said onto Peter, “come forth and gain eternal life.”

dadjoke

funny dad jokes