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avatar guerney2000 7 day.ago

Son brings his new girlfriend home to introduce her to his parents

Mom looks at the girl and says "You can do so much better." Son: "Mom, I really like her!" Mom: "I was talking to her."

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Why did ravioli go to the doctor?

She was feeling stuffed.

2. Confucius say:

Man who fart in church, sits in pew.

3. Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.

I mean, enlarging and an existing drill hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting!

4. Do you know what Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name...yuck yuck -source Jimmy Carr

5. Two coworkers are talking one day

The younger of the two is going on about a new relationship he is in. He tells the older man how gorgeous his girl friend is. After a bit he offers a picture from his cell phone. The second man says "If you think she is gorgeous you should see my wife." The first man responds "Oh is she really good looking?" To which the second man says "Well yes but more importantly, she is an optometrist."

6. My 401k has been converted to a 404k

Retirement not found

7. Not all construction work is equally enjoyable

Enlarging a drilling hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riviting.

8. Me and the wife decided to try mushrooms last night.

I wasn't a fan and to be honest, I don't know what all the hype is about. However, the rest of the pie was nice.

9. Can you judge the intelligence of a great ape from the way it opens a bag of popcorn?

Only if you burn yourself.

10. I had a fierce argument with my best friend who's a mime.

Now he's giving me the silent treatment.

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