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avatar No_Entrepreneur3039 13 day.ago

A general contractor was fired from the Apple store today.

They caught him installing windows.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A gardener thought his neighbor was planting her flowers too close to his, so he called the police on her.

“Why did you do that?” his wife asked. “She was plotting against me!”

2. I saw there was a big sale at the lego store today

People were lined up for blocks

3. I bought a ticket to a comedy show in a library.

The only sound was the silence after each punchline.

4. What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived?

He wet his plants.

5. What's the difference between Spider-man and a winter coat made of flat bread?

One is Peter Parker, and the other is a pita parka

6. What’s the difference between marijuana and pussy?

If you smell weed across a room, it’s good weed.

7. Chinese takeout $30.00…gas to pick it up $20.00…

Getting home and realizing they have forgotten one of your containers…Riceless

8. A doctor helps Mrs. Smith with delivering her ninth baby.

Once done, he takes her husband aside and tells him: "Listen, Mr. Smith, next time you're really in the mood, consider for a moment: do you feel like you can support another child?" The husband answers: "Listen, Doctor, when I am really in the mood, I feel like I can support the whole state of Georgia."

9. An infinitive started to walk into a bar...

But when he saw his ex there he decided to quickly split.

10. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles run into Mr. T walking with a woman. Michaelangelo asks "hey Mr. T who's the chick?"

Mr. T: It's April, fools!

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