Why was 69 afraid of 70

The cop says to the man: - Do you know that you were speeding, sir? - No officer, I didn't know I was speeding... The wife then says: - Come on, Henry, you knew you were speeding, I've been telling you to slow down for miles. The man shoots a dark look at his wife, then the cop says: - Well, since I've got you pulled over, do you know that the tag on your license plate is expired? - No sir, I did not know that... The wife says: - Oh please, Henry! I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now! The husband grinds his teeth but keeps silent. The cop then adds: - And I noticed that you left rear lights weren't working either. - Oh yes, I was on my way to get them changed, actually. The wife says: - Nonsense, we were going home. You keep saying it doesn't need to be changed, that the other drivers can see you well enough. The man explodes with anger: - WILL YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAMN PIEHOLE, YOU BITCH? The cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her: - Does he always talk to you this way? - Oh no, officer, only when he's been drinking.

Because she's the coolest mom ever.

Because he was in an accident prawn area.

Nah, it doesn’t

For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.

Man # 1 "Did you know that pigeons die after sex?" Man # 2 "No they don't, really?" Man #1 "The one I fucked last night did!"

Cop - do you know why I pulled you over? Man - to buy tickets to the policeman’s ball? Cop - policemen don’t have balls Silence… Cop walks away

Gravity

He was whistling to himself, enjoying the ride, when he encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change. While he was waiting, a tiny Mini Cooper also drives up. The rich guy looked at the little car and couldn't help himself, he had to brag. "This is the best limo that money can buy. It has ABS, airbags for all passengers, automatic climate control, on-board computer control system, photo-chromatic glass, mini bar, a television with satellite dish embedded in the roof, and this, and this..." At this point the Mini owner interrupted, "That's nice, but do you have a hair blower in there?" The light changed just then, and the Mini drove off. The rich man felt a bit down that he didn't have this simple item, and that very day had one installed in the car. A few days passed, and the rich man was looking for that Mini, until he finally found it at another red light. He got out of his Jag and quickly knocked on the other's window. "Yea?" Said the other man impatiently. "I got that hair blower too, now." said the rich man proudly. "Nice," the other man said, "but do you have THIS?" and he shows the rich guy a tiny microwave oven built into the dashboard. "No. I have to say I don't." "Well, talk to me when you have a REAL car, then!" and with that, the Mini took off. The rich man goes back to the dealership and this time has a special microwave oven put into his car. Once again the Jaguar was at a traffic light when the man spotted the Mini. It was pulled over to a side, with the glass all misted up, and steam coming from a half open window. Upon seeing this, the businessman got out of his car and knocked on the window of the car. After a few moments, the Mini owner poked his head out. "I installed an oven." said the rich man proudly. "That's nice,' the other man responded. "but did you have to interrupt my shower to tell me?"

They His-panic.