Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
ristoman 9 day.agoHe asks the employee for a pair of shoes he likes. The employee, in his experience, looks at the man's feet: "You look like a size 10." The man says: "Yes, but I'm gonna need a size 8." The employee doesn't really understand why but brings out a size 8 and watches the man force himself into these tight shoes. It's a struggle. The man manages to put them on, limps around a little bit, says "I'll take them" and walks out wearing them. Next week the man comes back. Picks another pair of shoes, only this time he wants a size 7. The employee doesn't mind so much, he's selling shoes and the guy pays in full, so he complies. This time it's an even bigger struggle, but sure enough manages with a couple of shoehorns, pays and limps out. The week after, same thing, the man walks in and asks for a size 6. At this point the employee has to ask: "What is it with the shoes?" And the man goes: "Well, my wife left me, my kids won't talk to me, I hate my job and don't get paid enough for it, I have no friends or colleagues, but at least at the end of the day I can come home and take these fuckin' shoes off!"
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They see two dogs humping and Little Johnny asks, "What are they doing dad?" Little Johnny's dad not wanting to lie responds, "they are making puppies". Later that night little Johnny walks in on his mom and dad making love in missionary position. Little Johnny asks, "Dad, what are you and mommy doing?" Again not wanting to lie his father responds, "We are making you a little brother or sister." Upset Little Johnny says, "Then flip mommy around. I want a puppy!"
I’m like, “Exactly. That’s why it’s cul-de-sac.”
Craziest case of a broken nose I've ever seen
They don't have the guts
Red paint.
Nothing, they don’t talk.
Our boss, who art a heathen, Broken be thy name. Thy receiver come, thy ruin be done, From Perth as far as Devon. Give us till then our daily wage And forgive us our strikes As we forgive those who blackleg against us. For thine is the Greek island, The Rolls and the mistress, Paid for by the sweat of Our men.
Tsarcasm.
Mom: "No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you!"
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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