Husband: I wanna die; wife: let me die with you

I see this hot 50 something milf and I tell the bartender to send her a drink. A minute later she comes over and sits in the barstool next to me thanking me. She runs her foot up my leg as she leans and kisses my cheek. I realize that I'm getting cougared and I just let her do her thing. She slides her hand on my thigh to my bulge and says, "I want this, I live 3 minutes away, let's go!", giving my throbbing bulge a hard squeeze emphasizing her desire. We leave and the short drive to her house she had me so hard. I couldn't believe my luck. We barely get in the door and she's pinning me against the wall, grinding on me. She licks up my neck to my ear, and whispers,"you want some Mother/Daughter sex?" Ohhh I was so turned on I could all I could say is "Hell yes!". She turned her head and yelled up the staircase, " Mom get down here!"

He said "see you next fall."

Like if I told this to gymnasts in a bar, there's no way I'm walking out of there Thanks in advance!

A Qwitter

When I came upon a dark wizard who said to me: “I will give you 50,000 dollars, but the person you hate most in the world will get 100,000 dollars” I said: “of course! Why wouldn’t I want 150,000 dollars?”

He Dwayne's his johnson

Fart Bragg

Because they don’t know where Europe is.

then skydiving is not the sport for you.

I proceeded to stick my finger in her ear.