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avatar mordecai98 10 day.ago

Socrates was a mortal. All men are mortals.

All men are Socrates.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...

2. If you get arrested, they take your picture

They are framing everyone

3. My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' ... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started..

4. Religion is like having a penis

It's cool, until you whip it out and start shoving it other people's faces.

5. I'm a fruit seller, and this woman who goes by the name "Ana" comes daily and eats many fruits for free...

I think I need to banana.

6. I saw a guy at the beach yelling "HELP, SHARK, HELP!"

Madness…I just knew that shark was never gonna help him.

7. People are making Apocalypse jokes...

...like there's no tomorrow.

8. Does anyone else electric company keep calling to give you compliments?

You’ve got an outstanding balance! Or just me?

9. A cucumber question

How do you know when to eat a cucumber or use one as a dildo? Depends on whether you are hungry or horny.

10. I always microwave my food for 69 seconds

I like it nice

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