New2RedBeNice 11 day.ago

(Which one was the wittiest/sharpest -&- add any you remember from a movie/life) 1. The Bus Encounter    - A very overweight woman boarded a bus. A passenger joked, "I didn't know this bus was reserved for elephants!"    - The woman calmly replied, "No sir, this bus is like Noah's Ark—it carries both elephants and donkeys!" 2. Bernard Shaw vs. Arrogant Author    - An arrogant author told George Bernard Shaw, "I'm better than you because you write for money, and I write for honor."    - Shaw replied, "You're right—we both seek what we lack." 3. Blind Poet's Retort    - A man said to the blind poet Bashar ibn Burd, "God doesn't take away someone's sight without giving something in return. What did He give you?"    - Bashar replied, "He gave me the gift of not seeing people like you." 4. Blind Man's Marriage    - A blind man married a woman who said, "If you could see my fair skin and beauty, you'd be amazed!"    - He replied, "If you were as beautiful as you claim, those who can see wouldn't have left you for me." 5. Al-Mutanabbi's Sharp Reply    - Someone tried to insult the poet Al-Mutanabbi, saying, "From a distance, I thought you were a woman." - Al-Mutanabbi responded, "And I thought you were a man." A. The Poisoned Coffee    - A very unattractive woman told a man, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee."    - He replied, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it B. Churchill vs. Shaw    - British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said to George Bernard Shaw, "Looking at you, it seems Britain is facing a food shortage."    - Shaw replied, "And looking at you, we know the reason for the shortage!" C. Flirtatious Exchange    - A man said to a woman, "You're so beautiful!"    - She replied, "I wish I could say the same about you."    - He responded, "No worries—lying is an art too!"