Implants

I knew this girl who wanted bigger boobs, but couldn't afford proper implants, so she had her uncle make her a false set out of pine. Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though, wooden tit?

Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. A typo walks into a bear.

There was Type-O splattered everywhere.

2. My wife saw a video of a man committing a crime while walking a dog. She asked if one could cross examine the dog.

I said sure, but it would probably be rough.

3. A man is walking through the park

When he gets to an area with chess tables he sees a guy playing a dog. Amazed he runs over and exclaims: “That’s amazing ! Your dog can play chess!?!” The man hardly looks up from his game and says, “It’s really not amazing at all.” “How the hell is a chess playing dog not the most incredible thing ever?!” Annoyed the man replies, “He loses 9 out of the 10 times we play.”

4. My back hurts (oc?)

If I was a dinosaur I would be a backasaurus. i came up with this on the spot, I'm really proud of it and I think it's a new one, has this been said/done before?

5. I told my students that if they can get a job working with and fixing water pumps...

They'll always live well.

6. I am loving classical piano as I drive around these days. "Love Dream (No. 3)" came on, which implies the existence of Love Dreams 1 and 2.

Just like Franz to put all his love dreams in a Liszt.

7. How do chimp chefs keep themselves clean?

They put an apron

8. Why don't American churches sell beef?

Because of the separation of church and steak.

9. How do diamonds get to know other diamonds better?

Carbon Dating!

10. I need help with my Tootsie Roll Pop addiction

I've had it licked twice but it keeps returning. Hopefully I can get to the center of it all. Third time's the Charms, right? Er...charm.

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