YZXFILE 12 day.ago

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says: "Kin ya swallar?"The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks: "Kin ya breathe?"The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says: "Ya know, I'd herd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed it done

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Recommend Jokes

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. Little Johnny is at the park with his dad...

They see two dogs humping and Little Johnny asks, "What are they doing dad?" Little Johnny's dad not wanting to lie responds, "they are making puppies". Later that night little Johnny walks in on his mom and dad making love in missionary position. Little Johnny asks, "Dad, what are you and mommy doing?" Again not wanting to lie his father responds, "We are making you a little brother or sister." Upset Little Johnny says, "Then flip mommy around. I want a puppy!"

2. My son was checking out our house on Google Maps and noticed the street stops at two round dead ends. He goes, “Dad…our street has balls!”

I’m like, “Exactly. That’s why it’s cul-de-sac.”

3. Yo mama so fat, Santa brings her milk and cookies on Christmas eve.

4. A Jewish man walks into a brick wall with a full erection

Craziest case of a broken nose I've ever seen

5. Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts

6. What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

7. What did the Mime say to the Clown?

Nothing, they don’t talk.

8. A Worker's Prayer

Our boss, who art a heathen, Broken be thy name. Thy receiver come, thy ruin be done, From Perth as far as Devon. Give us till then our daily wage And forgive us our strikes As we forgive those who blackleg against us. For thine is the Greek island, The Rolls and the mistress, Paid for by the sweat of Our men.

9. What do you call jokes told by Russian royalty?

Tsarcasm.

10. A husband and wife had a fight. Wife called her mom: "He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you."

Mom: "No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you!"

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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

funny dad jokes