What’s the difference between peanuts and deernuts?

They're two tired.

It was still standing, not fallen at all.

because he wanted to draw conclusions.

It was a pi thon

He mowes the lawn at Yankee Stadium!

I didn’t even see the punch bowl?

Two guy friends were teaching their wives to drive. Few days later, the guys met at a bar for a drink. One asked the other how the wife’s driving practice has been going. “Oh god!, he replied shaking his head, “She has become so obsessed with driving, you wouldn’t believe what she did last night!” “What?” “She dreamt she was driving in the city, grabbed my dick in her sleep and kept saying - first gear, second gear..!” “Oh that’s nothing compared to what my wife did! She dreamt she went to fill up gas, pulled my dick, put it in her coochie and said - full tank please!”

They take the buzz

Low commotion

Her three daughters got married at the same time and went off to their honeymoons to different places. All three promised their anxious mother that they will send postcards to let her know how their honeymoon is going. A week goes by and she receives a postcard from her eldest daughter. But it only says the words “Benson & Hedges”. Curious, the mother looks for the cigarette’s advertisement in a magazine and grinned slyly as she read the slogan - Extra large King size: The length you go for pleasure. After another week there is a postcard from her second daughter and it says “Maxwell House Coffee”. With a knowing smile, she read the slogan for the coffee in a magazine - Good till the last drop! While relieved knowing that her two daughters are having a good time, she was somewhat worried about her youngest, until the third postcard finally arrived after a month. It said “British Airways”, the advertisement for which, she gasped as she read, was - 7 days a week, twice daily, both ways each time!