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avatar JOEM1966 1 day.agoBrigitte Bardot

A woman wanted to surprise her husband on his 60 birthday. He’d always wished her to get a tattoo, she explained to the tattoo artist. “That’s sounds like an amazing gift. What would you like?” He asked. She thought for a moment. “Well, for as long as I’ve know him he’s been infatuated with Brigitte Bardot.” She thought a moment longer and then it came to her. She blushed as she told him, “Can you put her initials on my butt cheeks? You know, one B on each?” The tattoo artist smiled. “I can do that, sure.” Later that night she called down to her husband who was watching TV. “Honey, can you come upstairs to the bedroom? I have a special birthday present for you.” He arrived moments later to find her naked, bent over the bed. “WTF!” He hollered before kicking her in the ass. “Who the hell is Bob?”

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A genie tells a woman she can have 3 wishes, but the husband will get everything 10-fold.

- I want 100 mil $ - I want an IQ of 160 - I want a minor heart attack

2. I was tickling my little brother's feet, then my mom shouted "Stop! Stop! Wait until he's born!"

3. The Waiter was happy he was getting a tip, but then glares at the Zombie couple, specially the boyfriend once he looked down. "Not that kind of Tip sir!"

4. A ladder, a phone, a chair and a dildo are playing poker

Ladder says "I raise", hearing that phone says "I call", hearing that chair says "I fold" and lastly hearing all that dildo says "I'm all in". Edit 1:- I'm confused with all the mixed thoughts about this joke here, some people found it inappropriate to post it here while some did not. I didn't mean to post it for kids, its for you all to laugh it off. I mean it is silly and funny.

5. What’s the most reliable part of the human body?

Your fingers. You can always count on them.

6. If having sex for money makes you a whore...

Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?

7. I asked my daughter, “What’s a Mountain Dew?”

She answered, “As far as I know, it just sits there.”

8. I asked the late Pope what his favorite country was

He said "France is"

9. Did you know it's a felony to build and sell a broken grandfather clock?

If you can't do the time, don't do the chime.

10. When does a dad joke become nsfw?

When it’s “bring your kid to work day”

11. If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims

12. Why were they sad when the Dean of the Clown College retired?

He left Big Shoes to fill.

13. I had a finger amputated today. I asked my doctor if I could still write with that hand...

He said, "Well, I wouldn't count on it".

14. what do u call a boat underwater made of brushes?....

a scrubmarine!

15. It's very inappropriate to tell a dad joke when you're not a dad.

It's a faux pa!

16. So a guy goes to the hospital and says doctor help me I’m shrinking

And the doctor says “now now, you’re just going to have to be a little patient”

17. What sort of car does a tax cheat drive?

A Dodge

18. A woman at work accused me of being attracted to sheep.

I said “that explains why I have a crush on ewe.”

19. What do you call a vegitable who knows kung-fu?

Broco-Lee

20. The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

21. The internet connection at my dad's farm was really spotty, so I moved the router to the horse barn

Now he has stable WiFi

22. I accidentally called my iPhone’s smart assistant “surely” instead of siri.

Now my phone is stuck on airplane mode.

23. In computer class, I programmed a new spell check software. I think i did pretty good…

Considering it was my first 4 A into programming

24. What does a cat say when it hurts itself?

Me- Owww

25. My wife said she thinks she has an eating disorder. I said, so do I,

Im always “eating disorder, eating dat order”

26. Dads with high blood pressure who are watching their sodium intake should avoid what fish at all times?

2 Na, of course.

27. Dad jokes should always be kid-friendly

Last time I told one, three little goats laughed so hard they fell off a bridge

28. [getting arrested for impersonating a priest]

I KNOW MY RITES!!

29. Why doesn't it hurt if someone throws a can of Coke at your head?

Because it's a soft drink.

30. What did the Romans build over top the Forum?!?

The Fivum.

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