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avatar dustaknuckz 17 day.ago

I found myself often thinking about commissioning a painting of my.previous wives together, both deep in thought...

I Eventually decided it wasn't worth it... After all, was just Two Ex, Pensive

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. President of the Home Owner’s Assisiation

So the president of the local HOA wanted to find out how his 6 month old’s future would be. To test this, he set out a broken pair of headphones, a torn up photo, and an empty stick of deodorant. If the baby chose the broken headphones he would grow up to have the most horrible and obnoxious voice imaginable. If the baby chose the torn up photo he would grow up to look ugly as sin. And if the baby chose the empty stick of deodorant then he would grow up to always smell horrible. The baby crawled around and ended up grabbing all 3. The president of the HOA said “Damn, just like his father”

2. My mom died when we couldn't remember her blood type

As she died, she kept telling us to "be positive," but it's hard without her.

3. What do you call an indecisive dinosaur?

A dino-might.

4. How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

5. How do fishermen avoid being kidnapped?

They yell for kelp!

6. One time I farted so long that I was surprised my butt didn't have to stop and catch its breath.

Interviewer: "...and a weakness?"

7. Yoga instructor

Every time I try to get my yoga instructor to leave my house, he says "Nah, must stay."

8. My coworker was telling about how he had an ex who cheated on him because he wouldn’t let her peg him

So I said “oh wow, I guess peggers CAN be choosers” True story

9. We live on a cow farm. One of the calves is named Gabby. My 9yo told me, “if she ever gets anxiety, they’d have to give her…

Gabby-pentin.”

10. How can you tell if someone has a big penis?

Their Tesla is still intact and in their possession and they aren't afraid to be seen in public with it.

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