If my wife didn't have all her toes, I wouldn't have married her.

A man with a foreign accent walked up to the front of the theatre and announced in a loud voice "Everybody please raise your hands!", over and over. People wondered what was going on but some of them decided to humor him and started raising their hands, then some more, then some more, until eventually almost everyone in the cinema had their hands raised. Suddenly power was restored and the movie continued. The patron in the seat next to him asked him "how did you do that?". He replied "As we say in my country, many hands make light work".

A neckless.

No, but an Applewood

A crew member yells out "Men and woman on the life boats first." The teacher, all distraught, says "What about the children?" The lawyer replies "Fuck the kids." The priest says "Do you think we have time?"

But the broom is what swept the nation.

Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?

Food was good but the mood was horrible. It had no atmosphere.

And the doctor says “now now, you’re just going to have to be a little patient”

Last time I told one, three little goats laughed so hard they fell off a bridge