The King had the chamberlain beheaded

It remains stationary Edit: I can't spell

Remind her that you love spending mom-ents with her.

I replied, "But they didn't forget to add the comma, chameleon!"

when they saw a cop drive by. One turns to the other and says “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?” The other says “No, but I got swung around by the tits once…”

Tummy Fury

He is now Stoptimus Crime.

It was delicious

I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"

The first guy said, I was so wasted last night I blew chunks on my back porch. The second guy said that’s nothing, I was at a wedding last night and tried to make out with my mother-in-law! The third guy said I got all you beat, I brought a prostitute home and forgot I was married to Kristen who happened to be home. The first guys like y’all don’t get it, chunks is my dog!

She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them. Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her. After a couple of weeks the wife asked, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?” He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.” Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. “Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.” “No, she’s not.” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. “Well, what is it, then?” his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said. “Her name is Sheena, but she prefers to be called 'shee', and she’s selling batteries.” “Batteries?” cried the wife. “Yes,” he replied. “Shee sells C cells by the Seashore.”