My wife says she’s sick of me pretending to be a detective. She thinks we should split up.

It is an arresting cable

The most common online reviews say the new formula makes the lipstick crumble easily and for some reason gives people bad breath. When asked why she didn’t stick with the company, Andrews said, “Well... Super Color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis”

A self-own.

One asked the another, "Why do you look so tired?" The other replied "idk".

Cargo shorts

They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, "Yep, it's gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, no. I just burped.

risqué business.

I just dream loudly.

Shortly after our 10 year old Cocker Spanial died, I brought a 2 year old Golden Retriever rescue pup home. Both my wife and I had grown up with large dogs so we thought a larger dog might stand a better chance with our growing family of 3 boys, (soon to be 4 boys). When our 2 older sons and I arrived home with the 140 pound pup, my wife met us with an OMG look of surprise. She was expecting a lot smaller dog. I tried to calm her by telling her that the lady who was rehoming him said that he liked children. She replied to my comment with "By the size of him, he must like to have 2 chikdren a day!" He was the best dog ever. He really did like kids!

So now when I microwave something for ninety seconds, I press 1:30.