A woman is in court for shoplifting

The Judge asks the woman what she stole. “A can of peaches your Honour” she replies. The Judge thinks on it a moment then asks her how many peaches were in the can. “Six your Honour” The judge tells her that in that case he will sentence her to six days in jail. Just as he is raising his gavel to end the case her husband from the back row of the courtroom gets up and screams: “She also stole a can of peas, Judge!”

Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. What do you call a spider with 10 eyes?

A spiiiiiiiiiider

2. My aunty Marge has been unwell for so long

We've started calling her "I can't believe she's not better".

3. I've been looking for a way to make a new company.

Now, I found it.

4. I swapped all the labels around on the canisters in my wife's spice rack.

So far she hasnt noticed, but her thyme is cumin.

5. When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out identity theft is a crime

6. How do you get to the capital of Malawi?

Li-long-we

7. What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Dead. You call him dead.

8. If you always have a wisecrack,

will that make you a smartass?

9. What does it take to make an octopus laugh?

About ten tickles

10. What do you call a nose with no body?

No body nose

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A woman is in court for shoplifting

funny dad jokes