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avatar fizzmore 22 day.ago

I like most math jokes...

...but jokes about graphing functions? That's where I draw the line.

dadjoke

clean dad joke

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. My wife and I were arguing

I said “You’re starting to sound like my ex wife.“ She said ‘But you weren’t married before me. “ I said “I know. “

2. If I ever write a novel, I want to include a woman who's always cursing, and name her Celine.

>!Just so I can have another character say, "Hey Celine, why all the salty language?"!<

3. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

IIIIII'm eighty!

4. The emo kid walks up to the blind kid and asks him to feel his wrists.

The blind kid feels them and replies “I ain’t reading all that”

5. Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama?

Because you don’t turn your back on family.

6. No person is a vegetarian.

Because all veggies have egg in them.

7. Oscar Mayer just released a pasta sauce!

It's a bolognaese

8. Oscar Mayer just released a pasta sauce!

It's a bolognaese

9. This summer Dennis DeYoung and Mick Jagger will be on tour together.

It's going to be called STYX and Stones.

10. Man in bathroom

This guy walks into a bathroom and there's another guy just standing at the urinal. He looks up when the guy enters and with a sigh of relief says " i know this is strange but can you please help me? I promise I'm not being weird. " The second guy is like" wtf? What do you want? The first guy says " I really promise I'm not at all trying to be weird. Can you pull it out for me?" The second guy says "again wtf, are you sure? The first guy says" yes I promise you I'm not being weird " The second guy thinks for a moment and then says " as long as your not being weird " and reaching in pulls out the man's penis which turns out to be all purulent and green . He jumps back and says "what the crazy shit is that?" The first guy says" I don't know, but I'm not touching it."

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