Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Sonicmixmaster 10 day.agoThe Husband StoreA brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!" So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. The 1st floor has wives that love sex. The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
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"Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
I had sex with my girlfriend last night. It was her first time so she bled. I told her not to worry, in a few years she'll bleed every month.
They already have enough on their plate.
You put a windsheild over her eyes.
It involved 8 black men and a gun
You have to drop the bomb twice to get it across to her
But I'd feel even more guilty if I got her pregnant...
Babies eventually grow up and stop throwing tantrums every five minutes.
Three months without a school shooting.
A Suicide Squad
You know she’ll swallow.
...I hope.
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"
All the good ones are taken, so when no one is looking you have to slip it in the disabled one.
The finish line of the Boston marathon
I'm not trying to be racist or anything, but it must be those orange jumpsuits.
So you can’t see the bruises
Check The Pulse
16504
As they're all laying out, Eve decides to run into the water. God sighs in disgust, saying, "Now I'm never going to get that smell out of the fish."
U235(92)+n -> Ba142(56) + KR91(36) +3n +3.2^+11J You may not get that equation but the japs sure did in 1945....
just one. she stands there and waits for the world to revolve around her.
Bath bomb
Neither, it would be animal abuse.
Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin.
The white kid asks the other two, wanna play a game? The other two kids agree and the white kid leads them into the bathroom. He says "ok this is called the penis game, whoever has the biggest wins!" So he takes his dick out, and the Italian kid says "that's nothin!" And whips his out. His is bigger then the white kids. But then, the black kid whips out his hammer cock. His dick towers over the other kids dicks. After school the black kid goes home and eats dinner with his parents. His mom asks him how school went. He tells her he played the penis game with his friends. He said mom I had the biggest dick out of all the kids! Is that because I'm black? The mom says, no sweetie, it's because you're twenty-three years old.
A German man pulls up to a Polish border checkpoint. He gives his first and last name, his place of birth to the man at the border checkpoint. "Occupation?", he is asked. "No, just visiting"
it's the guys fault he shouldn't of been driving in the kitchen.
What's the difference between Sarah Palins mouth and her vagina? Only 1/5th of what comes out of her vagina is retarded.
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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