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avatar Leominster845 25 day.ago

Who married a hamburger?

Patty did.

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A man enters a confession booth

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "Go on, my child, you may confess." replies the priest "Everyday for the last 6 days, I have been sleeping with women who are not my wife." "I see, and this brings you guilt?" "No-- I mean yes father, they are very hot." "And you find them more attractive than your wife?" "Of course not, my wife is also smoking hot; but I digress, Father, how may I be forgiven?" "Hmm... Squeeze 10 lemons or limes and drink the juice." "Right away, Father, and will that absolve my sins?" "No, but it will hopefully wipe that stupid grin off your face!"

2. What did Will Smith say to the cannibal?

"Get my wife out yo damn mouth!"

3. YO MAMA SO FAT SHE IDENTIFIES AS SKINNY!!!!!!

4. YO MAMA SO FAT SHE EATS WATER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!! YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT YO MAMA WAS RAN BY A JOE!!!! GEGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

5. What do you call a fan of vintage porn?

A retrobate.

6. I keep exercise equipment in my home to make it look like I work out.

It's an elliptical illusion

7. I dated a girl with one leg.

She was a waitress at Ihop.

8. How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

"Meat Patty!"

9. What happens if you sit on a nut?

The nut can get cracked.

10. Affair vs Hit by a Bus

A blonde is asked if she'd rather have her husband have an affair or get hit by a bus? She picks him getting hit by a bus. When asked why, she reasons that he would be dead in both cases. At least in case of the bus, she and the other woman won't suffer.

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