Do you know how to make someone curious?

Did you know that the Native Americans used to carry around two outhouse tents wherever they travelled? They called one the tee-pee, and the other one the too-poo

I recently lost my job and so have been researching new careers. I've decided to open a tattoo parlor where women can flash me for a discount. I'm going to call it "Tit for Tat."

The barkeeper asks: "Do you all want beer?" The first one answers: "I don't know." The second one answers: "I don't know." The third one answers: "Yes!"

Because they were fighting tooth and nail.

So that weekend, he went out to the pub on the promise that he was going to be sensible and not get himself into too much of a state. Naturally, a mere few hours later he had gotten himself absolutely wrecked and vomited all over his new shirt. He starts panicking and saying to his friend ‘what am I going to do? She said if I done this again she would leave me!’ His mate says ‘don’t panic, what you do is- you walk in and say… I can explain, someone else was sick on me and they gave me this £40 to get it cleaned up’ So he walks home with £40 in one hand and he says to his wife ‘don’t worry, this wasn’t my fault, some idiot was sick and he gave me this money as his way of saying sorry’ She said to him ‘There’s 80 there…what about the £40 in the other hand?’ He said ‘ah, that was an apology from the guy who crapped in my jeans.’

She goes up to the man standing behind the bar and she grabs him by his magnificent and long straggly beard which goes way down past his waist And she whispers to him in a seductive tone ‘are you the landlord?’ He says ‘no no, sorry, I’m just the barman- the landlord isn’t here just now’ As he answers, she keeps grabbing his beard, stroking it all over; tugging on it gently with every word as she whispers to him ‘do you know when the landlord will be back?’ He says ‘ehhhh no I’m not sure at all sorry’ And as she continues massaging his facial hair she says to him ‘okay… well when you see the landlord…. You can tell him, ….. there’s no paper towels in the ladies bathroom’.

His name? Pikup Andropov

“For my name is Jehovah, and I am your father.” “No way”, replied the crowd. “Yahweh.”

YOU KNOW IT MAKES ME WANNA SHOUT! KICK MY HEELS UP AND SHOUT! THROW MY HANDS BACK AND SHOUT! THROW MY HEAD BACK AND SHOUT!

no rugrats