Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
J_S_M_K 1 mon.agoWhen he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, "Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here." The man says, "No problem. I'm from Raleigh." So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to the Raleigh man to see how he's doing. To the devil's surprise, the man is doing just fine. "No problem...just like Raleigh in June," the man says. So the devil goes back over to the thermostat, and turns the temperature up to 150, and the humidity up to 90. He then goes back over to see how the Raleigh man is doing. The man is sweating a little, but overall looks comfortable. "No problem. Just like Raleigh in July," the man says. So now the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 200, and the humidity up to 100. When he goes back to see how the man is doing, the man is sweating profusely, and has taken his shirt off. Otherwise, he seems OK. He says, "No problem. Just like Raleigh in August." Now the devil is really perplexed. So he goes back to the thermostat, and turns the temperature down to MINUS 150 DEGREES. Immediately, all the humidity in the air freezes up, and the whole place (meaning Hell) becomes a frigid, barren, frozen, deathly cold wasteland. When he goes back now to see how the Raleigh man is doing, he is shocked to discover the man is jumping up and down, and cheering in obvious delight. The devil immediately asks the man what's going on. To which the Raleigh man replies..... "THE CANES WON THE STANLEY CUP!!!" "THE CANES WON THE STANLEY CUP!!!"
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a goomer 💪🏻👌
Only one of them gets paid to sit on the john for an hour.
$3.14/hr. It’s the pi rate.
Compost.
It was a draw.
Initial samples turned out to be lemons
Because in Russia its always better to stay away from windows
He's looking all panicked, sweating bullets. He sits down and says, "Doc, I need help. Every morning I wake up, and for some reason, I think I'm a dog." The doctor leans forward, nods, and says, "That's unusual. How long has this been going on?" The guy says, "Oh, for years now. It's driving me nuts! Every morning, I wake up and I go straight to the back door, scratching at it like I gotta go outside. Then, if someone rings the doorbell, I can't help myself; I just go nuts barking at them! The doctor rubs his chin and says, "Hmm, that is strange. Well, tell me, have you tried anything to fix it?" And the guy says, "Have I tried anything? Oh yeah! I've tried *everything*. Meditation, therapy, hypnosis... Nothing works!" The doctor sighs. "Alright, well, let's start simple. Why don't you lie down on the couch and we'll talk this through?" And the guy shakes his head and says, "Oh, I can' t do that, Doc." The doctor looks confused. "Why not?" And the guy says, "Because... I'm not allowed on the furniture."
Before putting the patient under, the surgeon cautioned him, “We’re going to try to save your legs, but you have to understand it could go either way.” The surgeon tried her best to save the patient’s legs, but unfortunately, both had to be amputated. When the patient came to and realized the grim result of the surgery, he screamed at the surgeon, “You idiot, I’m gonna kick your ass and sue you into oblivion!” The surgeon said, “I’m sorry, but you haven’t got a leg to stand on.”
Genital Contractors
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