OZFox42 9 day.agoA 90 year old man was having his annual check up while his family was standing by in the waiting room.During the check up, the doctor asked him if he was having any issues with wetting the bed at night. The man responded, "No doc, no issues at all with that. On the contrary, when I go to the bathroom, a fairy or something turns the light on when I open the door. And after I finish going to the bathroom, the fairy or something turns the light off for me. It's really wonderful!" The doctor looked concerned and scribbled some notes about this and continued on with the check up. After the check up, the doctor went out to the waiting room where one of the man's family members asked him how the check up went. The doctor responded, "Well Ma'am, his check up went OK. Physically, he's as healthy as can be for a 90 year old. But mentally, I'm worried he's coming down with dementia or something." The lady, with a concerned look on her face asks, "Why do you say that?" The doctor responded and said, "Well, during the check up, he told me that when he goes to the restroom at night, a fairy or something turns on the light when he opens the door and that same fairy or something turns off the light for him when he finishes. I'm just a little concerned about his mental health." The lady with a horrified look turns to the rest of the family and says, "Oh no, Grandpa's been pissing in the fridge again!"
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Pepper-spray
Because it's the future.
The feather... The nigger was stopped by the rope
HIV
Well not in those words it was more like "Dad this is my new boyfriend Muhammed"
The bad ones make your asshole hurt
Walking
I feel like a kid again
...But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Optimus Crime
He wasn't invited.
so that they would also have to know what it was like to live with an irritating cunt
The New-York Jets
She replied, "That's hilarious! Why on earth would we have chosen you!?"
They leave flowers on its grave
Common sense
Does that make Trump our 2nd black President?
So their husband can scratch it off on at their wedding to see if he won a gas station, hotel, or a convenience store.
"Neighbor" OP:u/paszdahl2 in r/ImGoingToHellForThis
A man had been locked up in prison for 10 years. He finally gets out and only has $10 to his name. He decides that he wants to go to a whorehouse with this money (because the men are separate from women in prison). He gets there and speaks to the lady up front and asks her if there is any whore he can get for $10. She tells him about one that only costs $5, so he gladly accepts, pays the money and heads to the woman's room. He gets in there and they exchange a few words before fucking. The man says out loud, "Man this is the worst sex I've had before in my life, it feels like sandpaper." She replies by telling him that she can fix this for an extra $5. He gives her the cash because he might as well and she heads to the bathroom for a few minutes before coming back out. They start going at it again and he says, "Man this is the best I've ever had, what'd you do in there?" To which she replies, "For an extra $5 I peel off all the scabs."
Because it's wong
Mine's more important and I don't give a fuck if she has one.
It doesn't need cleaning yet.
A tourist.
I hate playing monopoly with my dad
She says, "No, I'll go deaf." He says, "Funny, I always cum in your mouth and you never shut the fuck up." [source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Sex%20and%20Shit/Wife/58304)
Racism has many faces.
It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
/r/blackfathers
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