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avatar Yokelele 25 day.ago

How did the pepper make the other pepper blush?

He asked her on a datil!

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I asked the captain of a ship if he always uses MPH to measure speed

He said “more often than knot.”

2. Paid a casino tipster for advice.

He told me to quit gambling.

3. Why was 2 afraid of 3, 5, and 7?

Because the odds were against him.

4. What does South American Carl Sagan say?

Brazilians and Brazilians!

5. What do you call an angry carrot?

A steamed veggie

6. Two colleagues are talking at work.

“Man you should come have a beer with me after we get off. “ “No, I promised my wife I’d stop drinking. “ “It’s just one beer. “ So after a little more coaxing he talks him into a drink. One turns into two and before you know it he’s drunk and throws up all over his shirt. “Oh no! She’s going to kill me! I promised I’d stop drinking!” “Dude just put 10 bucks in your shirt pocket and tell her you went out for one drink and some drunk douchebag threw up then gave you ten bucks to get your shirt cleaned.” So he gets home and staggers in. “You’re drunk!” “No honey it’s not what it looks like, it’s not what it looks like at all. Some drunk guy threw up on me and gave me 10 bucks to clean my shirt, it’s right here in my pocket.” “There’s 20 bucks in here.” “Oh yeah he also pooped my pants!”

7. One man was selling chips for living

When someone asked him: "What do you do for living?" He responded: "It's nacho business"

8. I told my therapist I got a gun because of my fear of birds...

He said I was getting carried away. I cocked the gun, and said, "not today, I'm not."

9. I asked my cat how he was doin?

He said... I'm feline fine!

10. I was doing standup comedy on stage and wanted to switch subjects but, I was like a security guard that had to walk the entire length of the mall…

I had no Segway …

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