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avatar cja1968 26 day.ago

It was the day before my wife’s second Cesarean. We knew it was going to be another boy.

Guess which song from “Annie” I queued up to play on her alarm?

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I am watching a documentary on beavers

Best damn show i have ever seen.

2. A vulture decided to take a commercial instead of flying south for the winter. He’s heard about airline food, so he brought along a dead raccoon for a snack.

As he got his ticket, the agent looked at the raccoon and said, “Would you like to check that?” “No thank you” the vulture replied. “It’s carrion.”

3. My weird uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain

My weird uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain. He comes out late at night to ring people's doorbells because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician

4. I made my wife’s dreams come true and we got married in a castle.

But you wouldn’t have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around.

5. My favorite app is google maps.

I’d be lost without it.

6. After a nasty argument, why did the astronaut go for a space walk?

She needed some space.

7. I only drink on two occasions..

When it’s my birthday, and when it’s not

8. I'm Eggshausted After Reading This...

He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.

9. What do you call it when you’re in the kitchen and accidentally step on some avocado that fell in the floor?

Sockamole.

10. Just found out about recency bias

Easily the best cognitive bias I’ve ever heard of

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