Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
SentientFoodTruck 11 day.agoTwo lumberjacks, Bill and Frank, are out in the forest cutting down trees.Not paying attention, Frank gets too close to the saw and gets his arm cut off. In a mad scramble, Bill wraps Frank’s arm in plastic, and rushes his dismembered friend to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank the next day, and to his amazement finds him back in tact, playing ping pong in the physical therapy area. A few days later the men are back in the woods, cutting down trees. This time, Frank loses his leg after again getting too close to the saw. Just like the last time, Bill wraps his friend’s leg in plastic and rushes him back to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank the next day, and this time to his amazement finds Frank in the physical therapy area, all in one piece, running on the treadmill. A few days later, the pair are back in the woods, sawing down trees. This time, Frank gets too close to the saw and gets decapitated. Bill, now an old pro at this, wraps his friend’s head in plastic and rushes him to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank at the hospital the next day, only to find out that his friend didn’t make it. Distraught, he asked the doctor what happened. “Well,” the doctor said, “your friend would have made a full recovery, if some idiot hadn’t wrapped his head in a plastic bag.”
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
The drone
Listen for maracas
A Jew with a coupon.
It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife.
Let God Burn Them Quickly
Santa Claus goes down your chimney
They would eat the bat
Garbage gets picked up
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, *your* generation relies too much on technology!" I then proceeded to unplug his life support.
Ranji is a 9 year old boy living in Namibia. He only has 1 leg, 1 arm, and 1 eye. Each day, Ranji has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes, and only the opposite pedal. If you send just $2, I’ll send you the video, it’s fucking hilarious.
Dialogue: Thor Lorgen
Then it would cut itself
when they get pulled over by a police officer. The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver "Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters" The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says; «Alright officer, we'll do it»
To get to the other side.
He said, "Nice shirt faggot." I replied, "Thanks, it's 100% cotton. Tell your grandparents I said thanks."
Which of course made me extremely upset when my birthday came around, because I had nothing to wish for.
So I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right.
A PDF file
is he charged with assault, or child abuse?
Your mother's cunt gets some new content every once in a while. Seriously, the amount of reposts going on in the past few months, both comments and posts, is sickening.
She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Kid stops crying when the gun goes off in it's mouth
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture
The line at KFC.
At least he took 300 infidels with him too.
So every once in a while, when no one"s looking...you just have to stick it in a handicap one.
2 tight ends and a wide receiver
Most of them are gold diggers
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell it to jump
Horses
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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