Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
OZFox42 12 day.agoA pharmacist's bad day.Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist ... he insulted me this morning on the phone.” Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, “Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tyre. When I finally got to the pharmacy there was a group of people waiting for me to open up. I opened the shop and served these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins - the phone is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it; half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, I told her!”
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
The camel will get exhausted.
She's not the best student. I managed to rape her 3 times this week.
Because religion is a joke
I nearly came on the spot.
A trap does something when triggered.
Havn't caught any pokemon yet but I'm definately catching something under the axles
Announced their president died too, but with better graphics.
Racism has many faces
Because they're jealous of how well their owners treat them.
Dad replies: "It's just a saying son. It's like when somebody is caught stealing something they say they have been caught red handed, even though their hands are actually black."
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
He said he couldn’t complain
I came out of the chip shop with a meat & potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said “I've not eaten for two days.” I told him, “I wish I had your will power! ​ I took my biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks and Romanian Gypsies" were not the correct answers. ​ A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time today. She said, “Sorry about the wait.” I said, “Don't worry dear. You might lose it eventually." ​ I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any change?” I said “No, you're still black”. ​ Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said, she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance with a face like that!" ​ An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him,“What's wrong?” The boy says,“Me ma is dead”. “Oh bejaysus,"the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?” The boy replies, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.” ​ Years ago it was suggested, that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich works better ! ​ Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut. ​ I had a Trivia Competition in the bag until the very last question....which I got wrong. The question was, "Where do women have the curliest hair?" Apparently the correct answer was Fiji. ​ A woman has a medical at the doctors. “You are grossly overweight,” he says. “I want a 2nd opinion,” she exclaims. “OK. You're bloody ugly as well.” ​ That should more or less cover everyone !
but Steve jobs named his company after the size of his tumor
Their last name
Because you are AuTiSTiC
I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
They bring out the kid in you.
To remind the niggers they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers!
My dad didn’t beat cancer
She said they did unspeakable things to her.
...after their flight was delayed and they had to stay in Birmingham
Micheal Jackson’s hand
Their criminal record.
"Throw your laundry in!" The room went silent... Choking back the tears, I said, "My brother was an epileptic and died in the bath." "Oh my god I'm so sorry!" he said embarrassed. I said, "Yeah, he choked to death on a sock!"
The black kid because he's 20.
I'd like a medium Sprite with that.
sorry
Is it domestic violence or child abuse?
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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