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avatar C-J-P- 26 day.ago

I just invented silent tennis. It's just like regular tennis

Without the rachet. You can play it with or without Annette

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. 3 elderly men are in a nursing home talking about their bodily functions

The first man says “ I have so much trouble going number one. It comes out in spits and sputters and takes forever. I would give anything to have a good pee.” The second man says “With me, it’s number two. I am so backed up. It’s horrible. I really need to take a good crap.” The third man nods and says “Well for me, it’s all very regular. At 7AM every morning I do number one like a fountain. It comes out perfectly in flowing stream. And number two also happens at the same time, and my bowels empty completely, as smooth as flowing lava.” The other two men look at each other, confused and ask “That doesn’t sound bad at all. What’s the problem?” “The problem,” says the third man, “is that I don’t get out of bed until 9:30!”

2. Did you hear about the cemetery that just opened up?

people are dying to get in

3. what do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft

a flat minor

4. Yo mama so fat, when you were born, they had to bring in Harry Stamper's team to do the C-section

5. Yo mama so old she says "card" instead of line and "deck" instead of program.

6. What do you call a soldier with no legs?

Army..

7. Obi Wan Kenobi has opened a Cafe in Amsterdam

It's called The High Ground

8. What did one flatbread say to the other?

It’s naan of your business.

9. Charity

Wife: I want to donate my clothes to poor starving people. Husband: If they can fit in your clothes, they’re not starving. His funeral is Tuesday

10. My cat just sniffed my phone

I said, "It's not a smellphone!"

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