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avatar sheeeple182 1 mon.ago

I couldn't finish reading my book about the history of colanders (oc)

It has too many plot holes.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope

2. What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

3. Whats brown and behind the wall?

Humptys Dump

4. I think I just saw Michael J Fox in the garden centre.

I can't be sure though as he had his Back to the Fuchsias

5. I just bought a horse and called him Mayo.

Sometimes Mayo neighs.

6. What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto

7. What do you call a Chinese lady with 1 leg?

Li Ning

8. What kind of tea makes you nervous?

Anxietea Sorry I'll get my coat...

9. An American in London

An American tourist in London decided to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wandered around seeing the sights and occasionally stopped at quaint pubs to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads and have a pint of beer. After awhile he found himself in a very upper-set neighborhood with big, stately residences—no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all, no public restrooms and he really, really had to go, especially after all those beers. He found a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decided to use the wall to solve his problem. As he was unzipping he was tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who said, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here." "I'm very sorry, officer," replied the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom." "Ah, yes," said the bobby, "just follow me." He led the American to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opened, saying. "In there. Whiz away, anywhere you want." The man entered & found himself in the most beautiful garden he’d ever seen. Manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges & huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in bloom. Since he had the cop's blessing, he relieved himself and felt fine again. As he went back through the gate he said to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. Is that British hospitality?" “No," replied the Bobbie with a grin. “That’s the French Embassy."

10. Why did the Avon representative walk funny?

Because her lips kept sticking together.

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