Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
The_first_Ezookiel 14 day.agoHunting up at “Old Joe’s” place.A Pastor is at home when one of his mates drops by and invites him out to go out and do some hunting. The Pastor tells his mate, “I’m not real sure about that idea - the only place we can hunt around here is up at Old Joe’s, and he absolutely hates me.” Despite the misgivings, the Pastor’s mate manages to convince him to at least give it a go, and they pull up at Old Joe’s place. The Pastor says, “I don’t want Joe thinking I’m riding on your coat tails, so I’ll go up and ask him myself, and if he says no, then so be it” His mate agrees and waits nervously in the car while the Pastor goes up to the door. When Old Joe answers, he greets the Pastor really warmly. He says, “Pastor, I’ve been meaning to thank you - my wife came home a new woman after your sermon last Sunday, she’s stopped nagging, and she’s been really civil to me, the transformation has been absolutely incredible. Is there any way I can thank you?” The Pastor is quite taken aback by this unexpected welcome, but explains that they came in the hopes of being able to do some shooting on the property. Old Joe willingly agrees, then pauses for a second, and asks, “Hey Pastor, since you’re here, and you’ve got your rifle, could you do me a big favour? ‘Bessy’, my oldest cow that I’ve had almost forever, is really on her last legs - the vet told me I should put her down, but she’s won me so many prizes over the years. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Do you think you could do it for me?” Taken aback by the welcome, he willingly agrees. As he’s walking back toward the car, he sees his mate watching him anxiously through the windscreen, and realises his mate hasn’t heard any of the conversation. The Pastor decides to play a bit of a prank on his mate. He throws the car door open, jumps in, grabs his rifle, and says, “That cantankerous old so and so - he just called me every name under the sun - he used theological words in combinations I’ve never heard, but I’ll get him back - that’s ‘Bessy’ his prize-winning cow over there, but Watch this !!” Then aiming his rifle out the window, takes careful aim, and drops old Bessy dead. Before the Pastor can turn back toward his mate to see his reaction, there’s a second almighty bang, and his mate says, “And I just got the old bastard’s prize bull, let’s get out of here!!”
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So Mohammed said "My faith can move skyscrapers"
A big wave.
Because SpaceY already went to Uranus.
The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box...
The bartender asks "What will it be, Mr. President?"
As twins and quick to go down.
He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to Chicago. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year."
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
Then i'm really an innocent child
Because I don't understand when they say **no** or **stop**.
That's preposterous, I mean, who the hell needs a fleshlight when you have a newborn daughter?
please let me go
Not the best way to find out what she does for a living...
But only one of my daughters does anal, so it's really no contest.
I'm really going to miss Tumblr.
Lily goes up to her dad and says, “dad, why did you name me Lily?” The dad responds, “because a lily fell on your head when you were born.” Rose goes up to her dad and says, “dad, why did you name me Rose? The dad responds, “because a rose fell on your head when you were born.” Piano goes up to her dad and says, “HADUHDABADAHU”
There used to be two of them and now it's a really sensitive subject.
A rice cooker
Like the back of my hand.
I had no idea how to approach it so I looked online and found a video that explains it all. At the end of the video I told him "It's basically just like that, only the white stuff on her face should have gone up her fanny, and normally there isn't a horse involved".
But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers”. She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
So I bought a uniform and started shooting black people.
Will it run faster or stop working?
A hockey player will shower after 3 periods
My favourite sex position is the JFK. She screams and tries to get out of the car while I splatter all over her.
Then they stopped coming because there were no more problems.
The instructors don’t get in the showers with the Jews
...old fashioned and slightly deaf grandfather. "She's Annika," I said. "Yes, I can see that," he replied. ______________ Credits: r/sickipedia
Last night I accidentally fucked my wife.
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