Why is it so clean in space?

…and the clerk said, “No, it’s mostly just the regular porn stars..”

But Some are in Denial

They're Dublin them for flight safety reasons 🛩️🧑‍✈️☘️

Me: Then what? Dad: We’ll see.

It felt crumb-y about getting older.

No, my blood travels by Bluetooth!

Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I looked in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh, well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?!?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"

I said "Cause there is a City Wide Fire Ban

Now I'm trying to sell it as a Clawed Monet.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt to his robe right after you saved him. I am sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry ... How soon can I go home?"