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avatar AndrewMacSydney 1 mon.ago

I did a 1000 page thesis on Warfarin.

But was told I had to thin it out.

dadjoke

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Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do you call a strongman carrying a lot of stuff?

Eddie Haul

2. What do you call a store that sells only bagels and donuts?

Hole Foods Not mine, seen elsewhere, had to share.

3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Europe! Europe who?

No, your a poo!

4. A man was having trouble with his pet hippo (as if having a hippo as a pet wasn’t enough trouble on its own). The poor thing was convinced that it was a chicken!

So the man called a convenient local animal psychologist and explained the situation. The doctor said, “I think I can help your hippo: Can you bring it in this afternoon?” The man replied, “Can we come in tomorrow? I’m having friends over for omelettes tonight.”

5. Beethoven concerts were probably like

Beethoven: Are you ready? Crowd: YEEESSSSS!!! Beethoven: I can't hear you!

6. The new Pope was a math major in college!

So not only does he know sin - he also knows cos and tan. Edit: I say this with respect. I hope it doesn't trig-ger anyone.

7. An elephant man scores a hot elephant date

Not wanting to overwhelm her he goes to the elephant doctor to ask about a penile shrinking surgery. The doctor says “Well there is a new experimental procedure involving cells from various parts of the vagina of a human female, but there may be side effects”. The elephant man agrees, and undergoes the procedure. When it’s time for the date he doesn’t show up because he be shopping.

8. I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself...

My wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK!"

9. My family was furious when they found out I hooked up with my second cousin.

Oddly enough, they never said a word about the first one.

10. Where does a General keep his armies?

In his sleeve-ies

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