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What do you get if you feed a Russian Mogwai after midnight?

Kremlins.

dadjoke

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A woman storms into the police station, visibly agitated.

“Officer! Arrest my neighbor! He’s a pervert and he’s been sexually harassing me!” The officer, trying to calm her down, says: “Ma’am, please relax. Take a deep breath and tell me exactly what happened.” She sobs and says: “He stood right in front of me… and said: ‘You have beautiful lips.’” The officer frowns: “Ma’am… that’s not really a crime.” She cries out: “But he’s a dwarf!”

2. What is the medical diagnosis for owning way too many dogs?

Roverdose

3. I'm too old to party like it's 1999

I want grocery prices to be like its 1999

4. The hydrogen atom was confused to see its electron gone.

"Ion get it."

5. What has 2 legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

6. Yesterday I drank too much alcohol and tied together every piece of cord I found in my house.

Obviously I thought to myself: "Wine knot?"

7. I always rip out a fart when someone talks behind my back.

Unfortunately for him, I couldn't control my diahrrea that day.

8. My best friend loves Batman. So I said to him after our 6th beer: “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”

Him (rolling his eyes): “Go on, then.” So I growl: “**NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!**” Him: “That’s Superman.” Me: “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

9. What do you call a charged particle with feelings?

An emot-ion...

10. I always think outside of the box

Especially because there is never one around when I need it!

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