What’s a bee’s favorite country?

Though I fear his allegiance lies with the Cardinals. (100% stole my brothers joke)

Every year, he holidays for a few weeks in the south of France indulges in fine food and wine, so naturally he has trouble making the weight for the start of the racing season. One of his friends suggest he tries this little place he knows in Montmartre in Paris on his way home. Apparently that they have two plans, guaranteeing you lose either five or 10 kg. Worth a try, he thinks , so he calls in. He pays the five kilo fee and is invited to go through that door and just wait. Through the door he finds himself in what is in fact a gymnasium but done out like a tropical forest. After a few moments, a girl appears at the far end playfully calls out to him "if you catch me, you can have me!" so after an hour chasing the girl around this hot steaming gym, he has an absolutely fabulous fuck. Checks his weight, he's lost a shade over five kilos. Great! Not surprisingly, knowing this place exists, the next year he indulges himself a little too much and decides he needs the 10 kg course. Same procedure, pays the fee, told to go through the door and wait. You’re ahead of me, aren’t you? A rather large gentleman looking like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger (fill in your own punch line you dirty bastards)

It's called Uspspspspsps

True story btw... the silence was deafening

I said that I was hoping to keep them

Then you get to have assault lamp.

Because They Can't Even...

Johann Sebastian Bach

After some great effort he manages to finally sit down near her during a party and strike up a conversation. They hit it off and he asks her to see a movie with him the next day. Fearing he will not be able to control embarrassing himself he decides to strap his penis to his leg. The next day he arrives at her door early and rings the bell. The girl answers the door in her underwear and he kicked her in the face.

They told him, "Rome, if you want to."